Censorship is a b****

There is a time and place for censorship, but it seems to be becoming more widespread on the internet. A place where regardless of what it is, you can find it if you really want to look for it. Sometimes, this censorship affects us in our day to day offline lives too, and it can be baffling at that.

When I was a young lad, all that time ago, Alanis Morissette had the hit song 'Bitch'. It was uncensored and the controversial word was in the title. While it has an intended usage as the term for a female dog, this was not its purpose within the song. The song was played on the radio and many paid it no heed. It was just another word within another song.

Years later, we found YouTube to be a Godsend. No longer was it necessary to call into a radio station and wait for hours until the requested song was played. Just type it in and away you go. While I am for supporting artists, it is baffling when songs hit VEVO and become edited, especially when there is no way to watch the uncensored versions. This is particularly true in the case of rap videos. It's utterly pointless listening to most of these on VEVO. It becomes two minutes of silence with the occasional beat thrown in for good measure.

What is interesting is when rap hit mainstream radio. Suddenly it became acceptable to play it during the day, but the naughty words still had to be taken out. The most prominent example in my mind is when a local station played Eminem's "Ass Like That". Now it contains that particular lyric a number of times within a four minute window. Each and every time, the word "ass" was removed...Only for the radio presenter to come on at the end and announce the song name in full. What was the point of that exercise?

If there is a song that I'm unfamiliar with, and I hear silence that appears out of place, I immediately become more curious as to what should be there. When I was younger, one of those songs was "Fat Lip" by Sum 41. The word "gas" is censored in the line, "all the gas you've been huffing". Without the silence, it would have been another lyric but when censored, it becomes all the more interesting. The same occurred recently in the song "Like a G6"; why is "slizzard" a bad word? - "when we drink, we do it right gettin' slizzard". Yes, it means drunk, but it's not going to add to the problem of underage drinking.

Why stop with that word? Lady Gaga is responsible for plenty of dodgy thoughts, lyrics and videos. Yet is left practically in touch. Listen to any given song and there will be some examples that shouldn't be sung by her target market. Maybe I have no innocence left, but what is the difference? Where is the line between OK and banned? And why are children allowed to sing about, "going for a ride on a disco stick"?

The main reason that this has come to a head is the release of Mortal Kombat Legacy. For those not in the know, it is a web series based on the game, Mortal Kombat. It is gritty, grimy and apparently subject to censorship. I would advise checking it out. BUT watch the uncensored videos. As someone commented, Mortal Kombat without violence is like Street Fighter without Hadoukens. If you don't want spoilers, look away now - go watch the series.

I have really enjoyed the series so far. However, episode 2 bothered me. The early release showed Jax punching Kano's eye out - resulting in the half bionic face. However, this was removed in an edited version. This removal makes the opening two episodes pointless. They act as a background to how the characters come to be and interact, and yet we're losing the knowledge about Jax and Kano, and how Kano loses an eye. It's graphic but viewers will quickly realise that someone could throw jam at the camera for the same effect. Interestingly, there is also a surgery scene where Kano's eye is replaced. This is present in both episodes despite being far more graphic and uncomfortable.

Episode 3 was the straw that broke the camel's back. It centres around Johnny Cage. It is full of grit, adversity and swearing...or silence if you watch the censored version. It breaks the tone and feel of the series. It actually came close to ruining that episode for me. I went back and watched the real version when it was released later in the week and it is so much better. From here on out, I will only be watching the uncensored cuts.

There is a time and a place for censorship. A series based on Mortal Kombat is neither.

Not-quite-review Review of The Fancy Pants Adventures

To be honest, I'm not quite sure what to make of The Fancy Pants Adventures. I first got a look at it at the EA Showcase and it seemed like a lot of fun. Then again, I played for about 20 minutes with four players and only touched on the story mode. Instead, we saw challenge rooms and alternative modes such as King of the Hill.

The Fancy Pants Adventures does not seem designed for playing single player, which makes it difficult to review and also difficult to pin down. As a 2D platformer, it looks well but it isn't overly challenging. There are bundles of collectibles but it's like collecting rewards from cereal boxes; it comes down to dumb luck and persistance.

The only reason to play on your own is to get the extra "squiggles" and go for the 100% completion or rewards. However, the levels are designed for multiplayer. Some squiggles are unobtainable unless you work with other people to reach higher platforms. So, while you get to explore more at your leisure in single player, you may not be able to get to places that you find.

This is where the game falls down. It can be a blast playing four player locally. There are some excellent game modes. But, if playing with the wrong crowd, it comes across as a boring title. If you can get the mix of co-operation and competition right, it works out brilliantly. But considering that you need to assist one another to get some squiggles, if people take the competitive element too far then the wheels come off the chariot.

I picked it up instantly when it came out after my impressions at the showcase. My friends haven't been won over so it may only get played locally for short bursts of time. On top of that, it hasn't quite gripped me enough to play through of my own accord.

Review: Unpleasant Horse

The more observant will instantly spot that Unpleasant Horse doesn't quite fall in line with what is expected from Popcap. That is why "4th & Battery" has been created; to act as an indie label to cater for Popcap's strange or marginal ideas. 

The protagonist is the Unpleasant Horse, complete with skull tattoos and a dark mane. But when viewing the title screen, look beyond the fluffy pink background into the sad eyes of the horses beyond and you get an inkling of what is to come.

The initial tutorial is brilliant in a sadistic, dark way. The basic mechanics are explained simply - touch the screen to jump to a cloud, or make a leap of faith if you are that way inclined. Then the line of, "Oh look! A pritty pony!! Let's go say hi" pops up. At this point Unpleasant Horse lives up to its name.

You see, the objective is to leap from cloud to cloud, and occasionally weighing down flying ponies so that they drop into a sea of sawblades. All of these actions gain points, with extra awarded for linking ponies, mega jumps, or dismounting just before you get devoured yourself.

The artwork is well done with subtle animations. Players will almost feel bad for those ponies being brought to their deaths as they weep before disappearing in a torrent of blood and gore. Their wings flap in desperation as they try to avoid the inevitable but it is of no use. Clouds darken with your presence and lightening flashes.

The game mechanics are implemented well and work fluidly. Combos are rewarding to chain and provide a challenge, while style points push the player to drop closer and closer to their own demise before leaping away from the clutch of the saw blades.. Bird feathers allow for an extra hop which can extend the chaos. However, there is never a need to move on. This is one point where the game falls down as it provides less of a challenge and more of a test of patience.

If the player can wait for an appetising screen, they can make great progress and rack up the points. Popcap have capped the number of feathers a player can hold at five. This means that there could be an end at some point as players eventually lose their run of luck, and cannot get an extended jump. An online leaderboard could have been an added touch.. Unless you are competitive and strive for perfection, or are sharing your iPad or iPhone with others, the game does lose its appeal.

Unpleasant Horse is an interesting change of direction for Popcap. It would traditionally be associated with colourful, family friendly games. At a push, the exception may be Plants vs Zombies, but even that can appeal to all. However, the cartoonish gore and game theme may be enough to put many players off. The background metal music is not for everyone, and the scream of horses mixed with the rev of saw blades may cause some to lose their appetite.

Players can certainly have plenty of fun with Unpleasant Horse. It is free so everyone should play it a couple of times at least. The various extras for scoring points reward a blend of creativity, daring and luck. Unpleasant Horse is a great way to kill some spare time. Overall, Popcap has put together a fluid, fun little game. However, it loses out in terms of long lasting appeal unless the competitive spirit is ever present.

Price: Free

From: App Store

Developer: 4th & Battery (by Popcap)